Too Much Information:
The Annotated MST3K

1002: Girl in Gold Boots

[Critter sings to Michelle's freakishly large head]

Imagine Showgirls. Now, remove the only two good things about the film, namely the production values and the nekkid women all over the place. There, you've got Girl in Gold Boots. Sleazy, distasteful film. And nobody's good at what they do. Michelle's a lousy dancer, Buz is one of the most incompetent crooks ever and Critter can't even dodge the draft properly! Oh, and, yay, there are songs.

IMDb Entry for Girl in Gold Boots

Prologue - What would Buffy Stainte-Marie do?

  • "What would Buffy Sainte-Marie do?"
    • Crow's bracelet parodies the "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet trend that cropped up during the 1990s. The phrase first appeared in Charles Sheldon's 1896 book, In His Steps. During the '90s, some Christians (mostly younger ones) began wearing bracelets (and sometimes t-shirts and other bits of clothing) bearing the phrase, so that when they find themselves, as Crow points out, at a moral cross-roads, they are reminded to consider what Jesus would do and, one would hope, do the same themselves.
    • Crow, however, uses Canadian folk singer/songwriter Buffy Sainte-Marie (1941- ) as a moral guide. Of Cree descent, many of her songs, such as "Now That the Buffalo's Gone" (1964) and "My Country 'Tis of Thy People You're Dying" (1966), addressed the plight of Native Americans. She also wrote songs for film, winning as Oscar for "Up Where We Belong," from 1982's An Officer and a Gentleman. Crow wraps up the sketch by singing, in Buffy's distinctive vibrato, some of "Hey Little Bird" from her 1967 album, Fire & Fleet & Candlelight.

Host Segment 1 - Pearl seeks certification

  • "...that's what Jerry Jeff Walker would do." - Country singer and songwriter Jerry Jeff Walker (1942 - ; born Ronald Clyde Crosby) is mostly associated with the "outlaw" country scene, recording such songs as "Driftin' Way of Life" (1969), "Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother" (1973) and "Some Go Home" (1970). However, he will probably always be best known as the composer of "Mr. Bojangles," first recorded by Walker in 1968, later a big hit for the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band in 1971 and recorded about 50 thousand times since.
  • Now Crow goes nuts with his bracelet:
    • World Wide Wresting Federation - In 1963, professional wrestling promoter Vince McMahon broke off from the National Wrestling Alliance, forming his own World Wide Wrestling Federation (shortened to the World Wrestling Federation in 1979). Over the years, the WWF became the most popular wrestling exhibition in North America, due to its long-running television appearances, the annual Wrestlemania pay-per-view event and its memorable characters (yes, they're characters; folks don't still think this is real, do they?) from Hulk Hogan to the Rock. In 2002, the WWF was forced to change its initials to WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) as a result of a lawsuit by the World Wildlife Fund.
    • Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) was the 28th President of the United States (1913-21). He is considered one of most intelligent and high-minded of the U.S. Presidents, but too rigid and unwilling to compromise. His accomplishments while in office included the founded of the Federal Trade Commission.
    • Wet Willie - Formed in Mobile, Alabama in 1970, Wet Willie was one of a number of hard-rocking Southern bands popular during the 1970s. They only had one top ten hit, 1974's "Keep on Smilin'," but had a reasonable fan base. They disbanded in 1980.
    • Wesley Willis (1963-2003) is described by Allmusic.com as a "schizophrenic street singer" who performed "bizarre, three-chord rants about trivial everyday items, music and people he knew." He developed a bit of a cult followed before his lukemia-related death, releasing albums with names like Spookydisharmoniousconflicthellride (1996) and Shake Your Piggy Bank (2001).
    • William Wyler - Acclaimed film director William Wyler (1902-81) gave us much memorable films as the 1939 version of Wuthering Heights, Mrs. Miniver (1942), Roman Holiday (1953), Ben-Hur (1959), How to Steal a Million (1966) and Funny Girl (1968).
    • Wendy Wasserstein (1950- ) is an American playright specialising in feminist dramas. Her first play was 1973's Any Woman Can't. Others include 1977's Uncommon Women and Other (her first major success), Isn't It Romantic (1981) and The Heidi Chronicles (1986), essentially a history of the women's movement.
    • Walt Whitman - American journalist and poet Walt Whitman (1819-1892) is best known for his evolving collection of poems, Leaves of Grass, first published in 1855. The most famous poems from that collection include "Song of Myself," "There Was a Child Went Forth" and "I Sing the Body Electric."
    • Willie Wonka - The character of world famous candy maker Willie Wonka first appeared in Roald Dahl's classic 1964 children's book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. In the story, Wonka take a group of children on a trip through his amazing candy factory. The character was played by Gene Wilder in the 1964 film adaptations, Willie Wonky and the Chocolate Factory. Wonka returned in print in Dahl's 1972 book Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator.
    • Wim Wenders (1945- ; born Ernst Wilhelm Wenders) is an internationally acclaimed, German-born film director. His first feature was 1971's The Goalie's Anxiety at the Penalty Kick. Later films include his 1972 adaptation of The Scarlet Letter, The American Friend (1977), 1984's Paris, Texas (which won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival) and Buena Vista Social Club (1999). He has also directed music videos for the band U2.
  • "What the Samuel Langhorne hell are you talkin' about?" - Samuel Langhorne Clemens was the real name of 19th century American writer and journalist Mark Twain. Tom is making his own variation on the phrase, "What the Sam Hill?"
  • Note that, during the much wailing and gnashing of teeth, Tom seems to be making "Woo woo!" in the style of Warner Brothers cartoon character Daffy Duck during his earlier appearances.
  • When Observer thrusts the film can back and forth at the screen, I think he's doing his impression of Woody Tobias Jr. (Eugene Levy), a recurring character on the classic Canadian-made sketch comedy series, "SCTV" (1976-81). Woody was an actor who always played "Bruno," the hunchbacked sidekick of the evil (or at least trying to be evil) Dr. Tongue (John Candy) in a series of bad 3-D horror films (featuring such memorable titles as Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Wax, Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Cats, Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Beef and, my favourite, Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Stewardesses). To accentuate the 3-D effect, an object would be thrust back and forth at the camera like Observer does here.

Movie Act 1

  • The go-go dancers, not surprisingly, have reminded Mike and the Bots of the sketch comedy program "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" (1968-73). "Laugh-In" was very much a program of its time and featured many images you rarely see outside the late 1960s or early 1970s, including dancing go-go girls. When the guys say "Sock it to us," they are referring to one of the shows many catch-phrases, "Sock it to me!" "She might damage her bippy if she keeps doin' that" refers to a further catch-phrase, "You bet your sweet bippy!" What a bippy is was never made clear, but I'm sure you wouldn't want to sprain it.
  • "On injured reserve, Mary Wells." - With that hair, the girl here resembles Motown singer Mary Wells (1943-92). Her first big hit was 1961's "Bye Bye Birdie," but her most famous song is probably 1964's "My Guy."
  • As some of the dancers spaz about the screen, Mike makes noises like once-funny-now-annoying film comedian Jerry Lewis. Lewis' character would often thrash about like idiots, making sounds like the ones Mike does here.
  • "The Kennedy Center tribute to Judy Carne."
    • Founded in 1971, the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts often honours entertainers of all kinds (actors, singers, comedians, choreographers and so on) with special tributes. They are occasionally broadcast on America's public television network, PBS.
    • Another "Laugh-In" reference. British-born Judy Carne (1939- ; born Joyce Botterill) appeared on the first couple of seasons of the program, introducing the "Sock it to me!" phrase to viewers. Briefly married to actor Burt Reynolds, after leaving the show, Carne appeared in several TV movies and mini-series, but her career never took off again. Her 1985 autobiography was called Laughing on the Outside, Crying on the Inside.
  • "Ed Grimley choreographed this dance." - The spastic way the dancers are hopping around are similar to the excited movements of Ed Grimley, a character created by comedian Martin Short. Ed first appeared on the 1982-3 version of the sketch comedy series "SCTV." He was a manic individual, always truly excited about every little thing and wore pants that came up to his chest. Ed also appeared on "Saturday Night Live" (1975-), during Short's 1984-5 stint (during which Ed developed an obsession for "Wheel of Fortune" host Pat Sajak) and on his own very funny Saturday morning cartoon, "The Completely Mental Misadventures of Ed Grimley" (1988-9).
  • "H.R. Pufnstuf's go-go girl review." - Oh, man, I'm having flashbacks... "H.R. Pufnstuf" (1969) was one of the most bizarre, psychedelic kids' shows ever. Produced by Sid and Marty Krofft, the program told of the adventures of young Jimmy (Jack Wild), who finds a magic talking flute named Freddy (voiced by Joan Gerber). The flute is coveted by... sigh... Witchiepoo (Billy Hayes). She's a witch. Yeah, I know. In an effort to get the flute, Freddy and Jimmy are whisked away to her magic island. Fortunately, they end up befriending H.R. Pufnstuf (Roberto Gamonet), a man wearing a large orange puppet foam costume. Think Barney the Dinosaur. But scarier. Every week, Pufnstuf and his equally surreal friends, like the talking trees, would defend Freddy the Flute and Jimmy from Witchiepoo. (Look at that sentence. Just look at it!!! My god, the horror...) This weirdness actually inspired a 1970 motion picture, also called H.R. Pufnstuf.
  • "Why does Noam Chomsky insist these women open for him?" - Controversial linguist Noam Chomsky (1928- ) was one of the principal founders of transformational generative grammar. Uh-huh. His books on the subject of language include Syntactic Structures (1957), Language and Mind (1968), Knowledge of Language (1986) and On Nature and Language (2002). However, Chomsky is probably better known to the general public for his outspoken political views. He has publicly and vocally opposed the Vietnam War, the Gulf War and the war in Iraq. Books wherein he expresses his political opinions include American Power and the New Mandarins (1969), Human Rights and American Foreign Policy (1978) and 9-11 (2001).
  • "The first Lilith Fair was weird." - The Lilith Fair was an annual concert event that ran from 1997 to 1999. Organised by Canadian songstress Sarah McLauchlan, it was an all-female performer event in the style of Lollapalooza, featuring such performers as Tracy Chapman, Christina Aguilera, the Indigo Girls and the Dixie Chicks.
  • "Wolfgang Puck's sad demise." - Austrian-born chef Wolfgang Puck (1949- ) is the owner and head chef of Spago, one of Hollywood's hottest and most popular restaurants; it's a sure-fire place to spot celebrities. Puck also owns a number of other restaurants across America, has written several cookbooks and has had his own Food Network show.
  • "Lucy Baines Johnson shaking her tail feathers." - I guess our heroine resembles Lucy Baines Johnson (1947- ), daughter of Lyndon Baines Johnson, 36th president of the United States.
  • "I'm Casey Kasem." - Buz looks a lot like radio personality and voice actor Casey Kasem (1932- ; born Kemal Amin Kasem). Kasem counted down the hits on the nationally syndicated radio progam, "American Top 40 with Casey Kasem," which led to his 1992 induction into the Radio Hall of Fame. With his distinctive voice, Kasem has also done a huge amount of cartoon voice work. Most notably, he has been the voice for many cartoon versions of Batman's sidekick, Robin, since 1968 and Shaggy of "Scooby-Doo" fame since 1969.
  • "Don't! The fryer's hooked up to the Clapper!" - I don't know if this phenomena has reached any overseas readers or if it's a purely North American thing. The Amazing Clapper (that's right, the Amazing Clapper, so there!) hooks up to the appliance of your choice (mostly commonly a lamp). Then, clapping twice will turn that appliance either on or off. Generally used by the elderly. And the just damn lazy.
  • "Sorry we shot you back there, Mr. Hopper!" - That would probably be actor Dennis Hopper (1936- ), from such films as Rebel Without a Cause (1955), Apocalypse Now (1979), Blue Velvet (1986), Speed (1994) and Waterworld (1995). Specifically, the guys are referring to Hopper's 1969 cult classic film Easy Rider, in which he plays a whacked out biker. Note the bike in the back of the pick-up truck.
  • "El Kabong is stalking them." - "Quick Draw McGraw," a series of Hanna-Barbera cartoon shorts first syndicated in 1959, featured dopey, inept Western Marshall Quick Draw McGraw, an anthropomorphic horse. Sometimes, Quick Draw would don the guise of the Zorro-like El Kabong. El Kabong, as well as wearing the standard heroic mask and cape, carried a guitar which he would slam over the head of wrong-doers, yelling out "KABONG!"
  • "I've got a Happenings coupon." - All across North America, you can purchase Entertainment coupon books, containing deals on places like restaurnants, retailers and tourist attractions. In a couple of areas, including Minneapolis/St. Paul (which the Best Brainers would know so well), the coupons are called Happenings coupons.
  • "Did somebody call for a cab to LaGuardia?" - Probably not. It's a little far from California. New York City's LaGuardia airport was named for then-Mayor Fiorelle LaGuardia.
  • "Same girl." "After Rust-Oleum." - Rust-Oleum, as you might have guessed, manufactures protective paints and coatings for cars, houses and whatnot. They've been around since 1921.
  • "Pepsi paid handsomely for this product placement." - Coca-Cola's (they'll be along in a minute, below) biggest rival for most popular soft drink in the world, Pepsi cola was originally called "Brad's Drink," after its creator, North Carolina pharmacist, Caleb Bradham. The name change to Pepsi came in 1898. It comes a zillion different varieties, like Diet Pepsi, Vanilla Pepsi, Wild Cherry Pepsi, Pepsi Twist and Pepsi One.
  • "Who am I? Mrs. Kruschev! Hee hee hee..." - Michele is wearing her headscarf in the style of a babushka, stereotypically worn by women in places like Soviet Russia. Nikita Kruschev was premiere of Russia from 1958-64. And he was married, to a woman named Nina.
  • "No playing Jimmie Rodgers." - There are a few folks, with different spelling to their names, who this might refer to, but I'm pretty sure they mean singer Jimmie Rodgers (1897-1933). Rodgers was the first (American) nationally known country star, making country music a viable, commercially popular medium. He has had a direct influence on artists ranging from Hank Snow to Merle Haggard and, in 1961, was the first inductee into the Country Music Hall of Fame.
  • "You meet the nicest people on a Honda." - From an ad campaign introduced in 1962 for Honda motorcycles. The print and television ads tried to impress upon consumers that motorcycles were not just for stereotypical biker types, but for all kinds of folks.
  • "Look, she's thinking Coke." - All right, quick version of Coke's history: created in 1886 by Atlanta pharmacist John Pemberton, Coca-Cola, or Coke, eventually became one of the world's most popular soft drinks. There are about a hundred thousand variations on the original beverage now, like Diet Coke, Caffeine-Free Coke, Vanilla Coke, Diet Vanilla Coke, MegaCoke, UltraCoke... okay, I made those last two up.
  • "Wow, they have Bomb Pops!" - Bomb Pops are ice treats made by Blue Bunny, with three stripes of flavours.
  • "The bikers are still inside, flipping through Tikkun." - (About 27 people let me know what this was about. If you're one of them but not listed on the Helpers page yet, don't worry; as I wade through my e-mail, I'll get to you.) The often controvertial Tikkun magazine was started in 1986 as "the liberal alternative to the voices of Jewish conservatism and spiritual deadness in the Jewish world and as the spiritual alternative to the voices of materialism and selfishness in Western society." So, totally inappropriate for the biker to be reading, then.
  • "They're gonna force him to pay half on a bottle of Armor All." - Invented in 1962, Armor All Protectorants are used to protect various automobile (and probably motorcycle) surfaces from the elements.
  • "Should have left some Chuckles on his seat, too." - A chewy, jelly candy produced by Hershey's. Yeah, that would've shown them.
  • "Batman..." - To go along with the lame-o film score, Tom is singing an unenthusiastic version of the famous theme to the camp super-hero TV series, "Batman" (1966-8), featuring the adventures of the famous Caped Crusader. The theme (the lyrics of which is entirely composed of the word "Batman") was composed by Neal Hefti.
  • "Starring Regis Philbin." - Buz now resembles talk show host Regis Philbin (1931- ). Although he had a relatively successful singer career, Philbin is best know for his hosting duties, especially such shows as "Live With Regis and Kathie Lee" (1989- ) (later "Live With Regis & Kelly") and "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" (1999-2002).
  • "Stay back, he has a can of Grape Nehi!" - Nehi (pronounced "knee high") brand soda comes in a variety of flavours, including Grape, Peach and Orange. Grape Nehis are famous for being Radar O'Reilly's (Gary Burghoff) drink of choice throughout the run of the popular sit-com "M*A*S*H" (1972-83).
  • "Clinton." - The left biker bear a weird resemblance to Bill Clinton (1946- ), 42nd President of the United States, at least during his facial hair days of the 1960s and '70s.
  • "Ain't gonna play Sun City." - Back in the good old days of full-blown racism, when South Africa was still under Apartheid rule, "homelands" were set up here and there across the country for black South Africans to live in. In the "homeland" known as Bophuthatswana, the government put a nice, big, Vegas-style resort called Sun City right in the middle of things. And quite a few well-known performers appeared there, for big bucks, despite a United Nations sponsored boycott. In response to this, music artist Little Steven organised a slew of other performers (the right biker looks a little rock-starish), bringing them together as Artists United Against Apartheid. Together, these artists, including Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Peter Gabriel, Bono, Bruce Springsteeen and Lou Reed, released an album in 1985 called Sun City, to increase awareness of the whole sordid state of affairs. The title single, "Sun City," featured the repeated line "I ain't gonna play Sun City" in its chorus.
  • "Let's get a pony keg and go to Sturgis!" - Every August, Sturgis, South Dakota, becomes home to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, the largest motorcycle enthusiasts gathering in the world. It was started in 1938 by local cycle shop owner J.C. "Papy" Hoel. At the time, only nine racers were involved, going around a half mile dirt track. Today, the Rally is a huge event, spreading across South Dakota's Black Hills area, with over half a million very enthusiastic attendees.

Host Segment 2 - Crow teaches Mike a lesson

  • No cultural references here. But don't you worry your pretty little head about it.

Movie Act 2

  • "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to turn you on." - I Didn't Mean to Turn You On was a hit song for the late Robert Palmer from his 1985 album, Riptide.
  • "Wait, it was a dream, he's kissing his Budweiser!" - Budweiser, sometimes called the King of Beers, had been in production since the late 1800s. It's beer. Not a lot else relevant here.
  • "Words. Bread. It must be Samuel Johnson with a baguette." - Samuel Johnson (1709-84) knew words. Beginning in 1747, he spent eight years of his life compiling the very first Dictionary of the English Language.
  • "Oh no, they picked up Joan Baez!" - Guitarist (note the guitar-heavy score at this point) and singer Joan Baez (1941- ) was one of the most popular folk singers of the 1960s and '70s. Her first, self-titled album came out in 1960. At first, Baez performed pretty tame, typical folk music, but later started writing and performing more socially conscious works. Her songs include "Silver Dagger" (1960), "It's Ain't Me Babe" (1964), "It's All Over Now, Baby" (1965), "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" (1971) and "Diamonds and Rust" (1975).
  • "Natural born cheapskates." - Gag on the title of the 1994 Oliver Stone directed film Natural Born Killers. NBK starred Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis as Mickey and Mallory Knox, a husband-and-wife team of serial killers, whose exploits are glorified by the media until they become folk heroes. Our merry gang of idiots are almost unsavoury enough to be lumped in with the Knoxes.
  • "...the engine off a KitchenAid blender." - Founded in 1919, KitchenAid makes all kinds of kitchen appliances, including blenders.
  • "I'm a pretty good dancer, too." "Compared to Stephen Hawking." - Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking (1942- ) is quite possibly the smartest human being who ever lived and certainly the world's leading authority on black holes. His books (including A Brief History of Time (1988), Black Holes and Baby Universes (1993) and The Universe in a Nutshell (2002)) are considered the definitive lay-person guides to black holes, singularities and the origins of the universe. Hawking suffers from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, almost completely paralysing him; he is only able to communicate by computer.
  • "Looks like we're in Alberta." - For our non-North American readers, this would make them seriously lost. To wind up in the province of Alberta, here in lovely Canada, would mean that our heroes have overshot Los Angeles, California, by at least 1300 miles (or about 2100 km) to the Northeast.
  • "Shoot, it's all Green Stamps." - Green Stamps were the original customer loyalty reward program. Started by distributors Sperry & Hutchinson in 1896, Green Stamps were given out with purchases of S&H products. The stamps were then collected in books and those books could be turned in for free merchandise. They were immensely popular, with 80% of U.S. household collecting stamps by the 1960s. Other distributors and department stores jumped on the bandwagon, offering stamps of other colours, but no other matched the popularity of the Green. Green Stamps are still around today, but, like so many things, have become virtual and are now called Green Points.
  • "Sounds like Max and 99 should be sneaking around outside." - The goofy "sneaking around" music could be right out of the secret agent sit-com "Get Smart" (1965-70). Max is Maxwell Smart (Don Adams), secret agent for CONTROL and bumbler supreme; Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon) is his fellow (competent) agent and eventual wife.
  • "Don't forget your Roman Gabriel collector's plate." - Roman Gabriel (1940- ); one-time NFL quarterback. Played for the Los Angeles Rams (1962-72) and the Philadelphia Eagles (1973-7).
  • "D'you get my Marathon bar?" - The Marathon candy bar (in North America anyway) was 8 inches of braided of chocolate and caramel. Introduced in 1973, its bright red package, making the most of the bar's size, had inch markings all the way down, so you knew exactly how much candy you'd consumed. (The Marathon in other countries, like the United Kingdom, was a different critter altogether, eventually becoming today's Snickers bar.)
  • "Crimes like this never happen anymore, now that we have McGruff." - The cartoon character McGruff, the Crime Dog, (along with his motto, "Take a Bite Out of Crime") was created in 1980 by the Ad Council and the National Crime Prevention Council, in an effort to increase the public's crime prevention awareness. Since his creation, McGruff has appeared in innumerable TV ads and people can make their homes "McGruff Houses" by putting McGuff signs in their windows, indicating a safe haven for any children who are feeling threatened.
  • "Oh, it's lovely weather for a surfboard together with you." - A California variation on the holiday song "Sleigh Ride" (the lyrics is right except for "surfboard" which should be "sleigh ride"). The song was written in 1948 by Mitchell Parish and Leroy Anderson.
  • "We're the Bank of America! Whoa oh!" - There a billboard for the Bank of America (it's a big American bank... duh), so Crow sings a variation on the 1981 Kim Wilde hit "Kids in America," complete with "Whoa oh!"
  • "Hey, pally!" - Tom, seeing a sign featuring singer/actor Dean Martin, does a little impression of him. He uses the word "Pally," the nickname he gave to comedian Jerry Lewis, with whom he appeared in 16 films.
  • "Doctor Dolittle? That doesn't look like Eddie Murphy." - Now Mike sees a billboard for the 1967 movie Doctor Dolittle. Based on the children's novels by Hugh Lofting, the musical film stars Rex Harrison as Dr. John Dolittle, a veterinarian who has devoted his life to understand the "speech" of every species of animal. The film was not well received by critics or the public; it took twenty years for 20th Century Fox to show a profit on it, although it did win an Oscar for Best Song ("Talk to the Animals"). The film was remade much later, in 1998, featuring comic actor Eddie Murphy (1961- ) in the title role. This version was not a musical, and Dr. Dolittle's ability to understand animals was innate. Featuring a bunch of celebrity voices as the animals (including Chris Rock, Garry Shandling and Jenna Elfman), this version did well-enough to warrant a 2001 sequel, Dr. Dolittle 2.
  • "Charles Manson walks the streets, the Zodiac Killer's at large! Charles Bukowski is pukin' out the windown and Santa Claus is on his way! Hey!" - Tom sings a cheery Christmas tune about a few of Califonia's less savoury bits of history.
    • While living in San Fransisco in the 1960s, cult leader and wing-nut Charles Manson (1934- ) started gathering a number of followers, mostly female, into a group eventually dubbed "the Manson Family." In August of 1969, at Manson's urgings, several members of the Family brutally murdered a number of high-profile Los Angeles citizens; eight-months pregnant actress Sharon Tate, businessman Leno LaBianca and LaBianca's wife Rosemary. Manson, believing that an apocalypse was imminent, was attempting to start a race war by making it look like blacks had killed these prominent whites. All those involved, including Manson, were sentenced to death; this was converted to life in prison when California abolished the death sentence.
    • During the 1960s and '70s, the serial killer dubbed the Zodiac Killer officially killed seven people but may have had as many as thirty-seven victims. Although there have been many suspects of the years, the Zodiac Killer was never caught. In fact, not a lot is known about him. The significance of his chosen alias is unknown and most of the encoded letters he sent to the authorities have yet to be deciphered. Here's a pretty comprehensive site about the Killer.
    • Although born in Germany, poet and writer Charles Bukowski (1920-94) spent the bulk of his life living in and around San Pedro and Los Angeles, California. A cult figure who had very little popular success during his lifetime, he wrote poems on a number of... iffy subjects including, um, feces stains in underwear. Uh, yeah. He was an inveterate gambler and drinker. Kind of a disgusting slob really from the author's pictures I've seen on his books. The 1987 film Barfly, which Bukowski scripted himself, is largely autobiographical.
  • "Stacy Keach!" - Spooky resemblance here to actor Stacy Keach, Jr. (1941- ) (as opposed to his father, Stacy Keach, Sr., who also acted). Keach's looks usually land him in rugged-type roles. Film appearances include The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (1968), The Killer Inside Me (1976), Escape from L.A. (1996) and American History X (1998). However, he is best known for his long-lasting television portrayal of literary private eye Mike Hammer; Keach first played Hammer in the 1983 TV movie Murder Me, Murder You and went on to play the detective in at least three more TV movies and two series.
  • "Met my friend Count Chocula?" - Leo's lackey looks rather vampire-like. One famous vampire is Count Chocula, the cartoon mascot for the cereal of the same name. Count Chocula cereal was introduced by General Mills in 1971 as part of their Monster Cereal line, which also included Frankenberry, Boo Berry and, later, the less successful Yummy Mummy and Fruit Brute. The character of Chocula, although considered scary by his fellow monsters, was really timid and easily frightened by things like mice and children.
  • "Did you know Von Ryan's Express is on?" - Von Ryan's Express is a 1965 World War II prison escape film starring Frank Sinatra and Trevor Howard. I think it's mentioned here just to be silly.
  • "The Mount Rushmore of ugly." - One of America's most popular tourist locations, Mount Rushmore in South Dakota features the likenesses of four great U.S. Presidents (George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt) carved into the side of a mountain. Sculpted by Gutzon Borglum with the help of almost 400 local miners, it took six and a half years of work, spread out between 1927 and 1941, to finish.
  • "This show made possible by a grant from the Ullman Foundation." - This phrase is an announcement made on PBS (the Public Broadcasting Service), leading into many of its programs. "This show is made possible by a grant from...", followed by the various organisations and companies that may have funded the show. And, while there does not seem to be an Ullman Foundation named for her, the boys could very well be referring to the philanthropic Virginia Ullman, who has made many contributions to cultural and environmental causes, especially in the state of Arizona.
  • "One! Ha ha ha... two! Ha ha ha!" - Another vampire reference, this time a Muppet vampire. The puppet character of the Count has been a regular on the educational kid's program "Sesame Street" (1969- ) since its second year. The Count (performed by Jerry Nelson) is, as mentioned, a vampire, but one who freely walks around in broad daylight and does not seem to need human blood for sustenance. Instead, the Count is an obsessive counter (see, the Count counts... get it?); he counts anything and everything. He often stops to laugh, during which thunder mysteriously rumbles in the background, no matter the weather. "One, two, three... Three birds! Ha ha ha!" [Boom!]
  • "You and I..." - Helper Juanita Wells thinks that Crow is (almost, anyway) singing "Different Drum" ("You and I travel to the beat of a different drum..."), a hit had by singer Linda Ronstadt with a band called the Stone Poneys, on their 1967 album Evergreen, Vol. 2. Presumably, the music in the film resembles the song.
  • "...keep your brown chukka boots moving..." - Chukkas, short, ankle-length boots, were immensely and undeservedly popular footwear during the 1970s.
  • "You met Leo, I guess." "Mister Sayer?" - Singer Leo Sayer (1948- ; born Gerard Sayer) had a string of mainstream pop hits during the 1970s, including "The Show Must Go On" (1973), "One Man Band" (1974), "Long Tall Glasses" (1975) and, probably his biggest hit, "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" (1976).
  • "Somewhere, Charlton Heston is weeping." - Actor Charlton Heston (1924- ) has appeared in more films than you can count, including the likes of Ben-Hur (1959), Planet of the Apes (1968), Soylent Green (1973) and Tombstone (1993). Heston was also, between 1998-2003, the very out-spoken president of the National Rifle Association. Even for an NRA member he seemed extreme, opposing almost any reasonable amount of gun control and spouting rhetoric like: "I have only five words for you: From my cold, dead hands!"

Host Segment 3 - Crow shakes his money-maker

  • "Mike 'Taliban' Nelson!" - The Students of Islamic Knowledge Movement, or Taliban, ruled the country of Afghanistan for several years, coming to power in 1996 during Afghanistan's long civil war and finally ousted in December 2001 by the United States military and Afghani opposition forces in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the U.S. The Taliban believed in very strict interpretation of Islamic law, leading to country-wide oppression, particularly poor treatment of women.
  • "Hey, bartender, hook me up with another longneck and put on 'Everbody's Workin' for the Weekend'!" - "Working For the Weekend" was a hit in 1981 for Canadian rockers Loverboy, appearing on their album Get Lucky. Typical '80s rock.

Movie Act 3

  • "Rhoda? Are you home?" - The character of Rhoda Morgenstern (played by Valerie Harper) first appeared on the sit-com "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" 1970-7), before spinning off into her own popular series, "Rhoda" (1974-8). A quintessential '70s show, the hair styles in GiGB are similar to what Rhoda and her friends wore, and I'm pretty sure she must have had a bead curtain in her apartment.
  • "That's good, but we're casting The Tempest here." - William Shakespeare's play The Tempest was first performed in 1611, telling the tale of a group of shipwrecked castaways and their encounter with the powerful wizard Prospero, who seeks revenge on them. I'm fairly certain Shakespeare did not include any go-go dancing, but with some modern interpretations, who knows what might turn up?
  • Tom is doo-doo-doodling along with the film's soundtrack to the tune of the back-up singers in the song "Respect." Originally performed by its composer Otis Redding in 1965, it became a much bigger hit in 1967 for Aretha Franklin.
  • "What, are they doing Feldenkrais?" - Feldenkrais is an exercise/movement system developed by Russian physicist and judo expert Dr. Moshe Feldenkrais. The system uses movement and "directed attention" (uh, right) to improve movement, flexibility and co-ordination and to "enhance human functioning" (uh, right).
  • "Mr. McCabe." "Sure thing, Mrs. Miller. Doh!" - McCabe & Mrs. Miller is a 1971 Western film directed by Robert Altman. Warren Beatty starred as John McCabe, a man setting up a whorehouse/tavern in a Wester town. He teams up with Constance Miller (Julie Christie), a professional madam. They grow closer and their business is a success, but conflict arises with a corporation wants to buy out the town.
  • "I swear, I'll kill ya! Now let's hear 'Leavin' On a Jet Plane.'" - "Leaving On a Jet Plane" is a heavily mellow song, composed by singer John Denver. It was first a 1967 hit for Peter, Paul & Mary, then later for Denver himself, appearing on his 1969 debut album Rhymes and Reasons.
  • "You should try staying calm." "Think of Perry Como." - Speaking of mellow... Popular crooner Perry Como (1912-2001; born Pierino Ronald Como) was probably the most relaxed, laidback singer of his time. His big break came in 1945, when his rendition of "Till the End of Time" spent 10 weeks at the top of the charts, becoming the biggest hit of the year. Later hits included "Prism of Love," "Surrender," "Papa Loves Mambo" (all during the late 1940s), "Catch a Falling Star" (1958) and "It's Impossible" (1970). He also hosted one of the first variety TV shows, "The Chesterfield Supper Club" (1948-63, later called "The Perry Como Show").
  • "Go, Mary Tyler Moore, go!" - Our dancer looks like actress Mary Tyler Moore (1936- ) during her 1970s phase. Although she has had a sporadic film career (including Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967) and Ordinary People (1988)), Moore is best remembered for her TV sitcom work in the classic series "The Dick Van Dyke Show" (1961-6) and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" (1970-7), for which she won 5 Emmy awards. Later, she formed her own production company, MTM, which produced such critically-acclaimed TV series as "The Bob Newhart Show" (1972-8), "WKRP in Cincinnati" (1978-82) and "Hill Street Blues" (1981-7).
  • "Hey, Witchiepoo's sitting there." - The character of Witchipoo (which we've already covered above) wore some truly god-awful leggings, with hideously bright stripes like seen here. Ah, jeez, more Pufnstuf flashbacks!
  • "Hey, Geraldine!" - Late comedian Flip Wilson created several wacky characters for his comedy/variety program, "The Flip Wilson Show" (1970-4), but the most memorable was probably Geraldine (whom the mannish-looking woman here sort of looks like), a wise-cracking smart-ass of a woman, really Wilson in drag and a wig. Geraldine, who had an unseen boyfriend called "Killer," popularised the phrase "What you see is what you get!"
  • "They're funnier than the Ritz Brothers." - From what I can gather, this isn't much of a challenge. The Ritz Brothers (really the Joachim brothers: Al (1901-65), Jimmy (1904-85) and Harry (1907-86)) were considered the poor man's Marx Brothers; never quite as funny and certainly not as popular. They appeared in a string of short, vehicle films, like Hotel Anchovy (1934), The Three Musketeers (1939) and Argentine Nights (1940) and, very occasionally, in the films of others, like the Sonja Henie film One in a Million (1936). They also showed up, oddly enough, in cartoon format, with a cameo in the Donald Duck short, The Autograph Hound (1939).
  • "Little afternoon delight?" - This could be a reference to "Afternoon Delight," the 1976 hit (well, let's be honest... only hit) for the Starland Vocal Band. The phrase "afternoon delight" is clearly a euphamism for nookie. "Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight/Gonna grab some afternoon delight."
  • "Marlo Thomas and the Marlo-ettes!" - More 1960s/'70s resemblance humour. Now our girl is being compared to actress Marlo Thomas (1937- ), best known for being comedian Danny Thomas' daughter, talk show host Phil Donohue's wife and the star of the popular sitcom "That Girl" (1966-71).
  • "Brought to you by the Gregory Method." - From Helper RedMage9x: "The Gregory Method was a method developed by a mathematician [James Gregory (1638-1675)] that involved trying to calculate the exact value of pi. Of course, pi has an infinite number of decimal places, so all that Gregory did was prove how far pi went on. The riff is referring to the long-drawn out, and nearly endless dancing scenes in the movie."
  • "Starburst?" - Chewy fruit-flavoured candy produced by the Mars company. It's really yummy and is even available in jelly bean format.
  • "Put on Bea Arthur's mumu." - Actress Beatrice Arthur (1923- ) is best know for two sitcoms in particular: "Maude" (1972-8) and "The Golden Girls" (1985-92). As Maude Findlay, Arthur often wore huge billowing robe-like dresses outfits, almost mumus.
  • "I want you to dance in Joanie's place." "Chachi won't let her dance anymore." - These characters featured in the popular 1950s-based sitcom "Happy Days" (1974-84). Joanie (Erin Moran) was the little sister of Richie Cunningham (Ron Howard); Charles "Chachi" Arcola (Scott Baio), introduced in 1977, was the smart-alecky young cousin of super-cool greaser, the Fonz (Henry Winkler). Chachi immediately developed a thing for Joanie, pursuing her for years. Joanie eventually found herself returning his affection. They became a couple and were spun-off into their own show, "Joanie Loves Chachi" (1982-3). This painfully bad program did very, very badly and was quickly canned. Joanie and Chachi returned to "Happy Days" and eventually married in that show's final episode.
  • "Babaluuuuu!" - The bongo-heavy song "Babalu" was a hit in the late 1940s for Cuban bandleader Desi Arnaz, becoming his signature song. It also became the signature song of Cuban bandleader Ricky Ricardo, Desi Arnaz's character on the sit-com "I Love Lucy" (1951-7). In 1991, Arnaz's performances of the song were re-done as a dance remix and appeared on the album Babalu Music!, compiled and produced by life-long "Lucy" fan, "Weird Al" Yankovic.
  • "Hey, suddenly I love the Allman Brothers." - Formed in 1969, the Allman Brothers Band was one of the most influential bands of the 1970s. Their blues-tinged Southern rock gave them such hits as "Ramblin' Man" (1973), "Mighnight Rider" (1974) and "Crazy Love" (1979). They're probably brought up here because of how long the band at the party is playing the same tune. While plenty of performers jam their songs in concert, making them a little longer, the Allman Brothers made it an art-form, managing to play one song for 30 or 40 minutes during live performances.
  • "C'mon, let's put on 'Sister Mary Elephant.'" - "Sister Mary Elephant" is the first track on Big Bambu, the 1972 debut album of Cheech & Chong, the classic 1970s drug comedy duo. The track takes us inside the class room of a Catholic high school, wherein nun and substitute teacher Sister Mary Elephant must shriek at the top of her lungs to get anyone in the class to pay attention to her. The track became a favourite at teen parties across North America and is probably best listened to when on some kind of drug.
  • "I think this is Dawn Rowan's life story." - Thanks to Helper Pirengle for making out this references (I though it might be Don Rowan.) "This might be Dawn Rowan, an Australian feminist social activist. She ran a women's shelter in southern Australia that the government stopped funding in 1987 due to 'unsubstantiated rumors' about misallocation of funds, harrassment, and a few other things. She then sued many of the people surrounding that rumor, and eventually won her lawsuits in 2001. You can read about it here." So, I'm pretty sure the guys are being sarcastic here. Another, rather more obvious possiblity that I missed, pointed out by Helper Indomitus, is that the name given is Dan Rowan, linking back to an eariler reference to Rowan & Martin.
  • "Dancing for Adlai Stevenson there." - More than one of the timid-looking, balding party-goers bears a bit of a resemblance to mild-mannered politician Adlai Stevenson. Stevenson (1900-65) was one of America's great "lost causes" as a national political leader. Stevenson ran for President twice, but, despite being well liked, especially by liberals, was beat both times by Dwight Eisenhower. While Governor of Illinois (1949-53), he doubled funding for public education, ended political appointment to the state police department and vetoed a state "antisubversive" squad. During his second bid for the Presidency, he championed the suspension of nuclear testing and focused on race relations and conservation issues. He also served as President Kennedy's UN ambassador. Stevenson was basically a nice guy who just didn't have the "oomph" to be a leader.
  • "She makes Elaine Benes look like a good dancer." - Portrayed by comic actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Elaine Benes was a regular character on "Seinfeld" (1990-8), the famous sit-com about "nothing." In a 1996 episode called "The Little Kicks," fellow character George Costanza (Jason Alexander) witnesses Elaine dance at a party and is horrified at how bad she is (despite Elaine believing there's nothing wrong with her dancing). George describes it as "a full body dry heave set to music."
  • "Next, Kitty Carlisle will read 'Howl.'"
    • Performer Kitty Carlisle (1910- ; born Catherine Conn) has performed shows on Broadway and opera at the New York Metropolitan. Her motion pictures appearances include the Marx Brothers classic A Night at the Opera (1935), Radio Days (1987) and Six Degrees of Seperation (1993). She is also the only person to have been a panelist of every incarnation of the quiz show "To Tell the Truth" (1956-68; 1969-78; 1980-1; 1990-1; 2000-2).
    • And, in an effort to compound the weirdness of events, we have Ms. Carlisle reading poet Allen Ginsberg's famous epic poem, "Howl." (Thanks to Helper John Keat for realising that I was mistaking "Howell" for "Howl.") Appearing in Ginsberg's 1956 book Howl and Other Poems, the poem (which you can read here) is very much a product of the Beat Generation, using made up words and sentence fragments.
  • "That's her Gore-Tex winter bra." - Gore-Tex Fabrics makes a wide range of outdoor and sporting clothing, including footware and headgear, using their patented fluoropolymer.
  • "Boy, I'm glad Oliver Platt didn't get this role." - Oliver Platt (1960- ) is actually quite a good and accomplished actor, but he's kind of on the heavy side, so, no, you wouldn't want to see him shake his money-maker. His films include Married to the Mob (1988), Flatliners (1990), The Three Musketeers (1993), Lake Placid (1999) and Don't Say a Word (2001). He's also made a few television appearances, including a season on the critically acclaimed "The West Wing" (1999- ).
  • "Arafat in the '60s." - The scuffy drug dealer looks a bit like a younger Yasser (or Yasir) Arafat (1929- ). Arafat is a major player in the ongoing conflicts in the Middle East. Once the leader of the Palestine Liberation Organization, he later became President of the Palestinian Authority.
  • "Don't you trust me, Buzzy?" "He's Ruth Buzzi?" - No, he's not. Which is a shame. Ruth would be more entertaining. Comic actress Ruth Buzzi (1936- ) is best known for playing a variety of characters on the seminal sketch comedy program "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" (1968-73). (In fact, she is only one of four people to appear on every single episode of Laugh-In, the others being hosts Dan Rowan and Dick Martin, and announcer Gary Owens.) She went on to do a fair amount of voice work and was a regular from 1993 to 1999 on "Sesame Street" (1969- ).
  • "Well, it's sweaty and it's got Cruex on it..." - Cruex cream or spray powder is use to treat, um, jock itch. Ick.
  • "Please don't explain my sarset/sarsef [?] to me!" - Help! It think this is supposed to be an abbreviation of some kind, possibly something to do with accounting or taxes.
  • "It's the Tab Hunters!" - The whole band resemble clones of 1950s teen heartthrob Tab Hunter (1931- ; born Arthur Gelien). Hunter's first big role was in the 1950 film The Lawless. Later films include Damn Yankees! (1958), The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972), Polyester (1981) and Grease 2 (1982). He also appeared on television, including his own "The Tab Hunter Show" (1960-1) and the tongue-in-cheek soap opera "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" (1976-8).
  • "Hey, someone's taking Schmidt guitar lessons back there." - Help! I haven't been able to find out anything about this particular method of learning the guitar.
  • "Hey, My Three Sons grew up and started a band... and... hired... two other guys..." - The band's clean-cut look reminds one of the sons on the sit-com "My Three Sons" (1960-72). Mike (Tim Considine), Robbie (Don Grady) and Chip (Stanley Livington) were being raised by their widowed father, Steve Douglas (Fred MacMurray).
  • "Kevin Spacey and William Holden enjoy the show."
    • The audience member on the left looks like acclaimed actor Kevin Spacey (1959- ; born Kevin Spacey Fowley). His first screen appearance was a bit-part in 1986's Heartburn, but he was destined for bigger things. He has since starred in many critically acclaimed films, including Henry & June (1990), The Usual Suspects (1995, which earned Spacey a Best Supporting Actor Oscar), Se7en (1995), L.A. Confidential (1997), A Bug's Life (1999), American Beauty (1999, which scored him a Best Actor Oscar) and The Shipping News (2001).
    • The fella on the right looks like actor William Holden (1918-81; born William Franklin Beedle, Jr.). Holden's first starring role was in 1939's Golden Boy, a performance memorable enough to earn him the subsequent nickname "The Golden Boy." Later notable films include many classics, like Sunset Blvd. (1950), Stalag 17 (1953), Picnic (1955), The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) and Network (1976).
  • "...or look like John Tesh..." - The lead singer looks vaguely like "entertainer" John Tesh. Originally known for his 10 year stint (1986-96) hosting "Entertainment Tonight" (1981- ), John Tesh (1952- ) became a best-selling New Age keyboard artist beginning with his 1988 album Tour de France. He has won several Emmys for composing to themes to a number of sports-related shows and his 1995 live album John Tesh Live at Red Rocks went gold.
  • "As soon as I finish my sculpture of Devils Tower." - The real-life 1267 ft. vertical monolith Devils Tower in Wyoming features very prominently in Steven Spielberg's classic SF film Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977). UFO abductees find themselves mysteriously drawn to the Tower, in particular Roy Neary (Richard Dreyfuss), who is compelled to make scultptures of the monolith in his home, starting small with a plate of mashed potatoes, then building up to a giant piece of landscaping... in his living room! The strange lump in the background between Critter and Michelle is about the right size and shape to be the living room Tower.
  • "I'm not trying to be funny." "Man, I wish that were true of Jim Carrey." - Comic actor Jim Carrey (1962- ) started, like so many others, as a stand-up comedian. His first brush with acting came with the very short-lived TV series "The Duck Factory" (1984). A few years later, an appearance in the 1989 movie Earth Girls Are Easy led to Carrey being chosen by co-star Damon Wayans to join his new sketch comedy program "In Living Color" (1990-4). This is where Carrey was first really noticed and since, he has made a slew of films, mostly comedies created to show of his zany, and often annoying, style. Films of this type include Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994), The Mask (1994), Dumb & Dumber (1994) and The Cable Guy (1996). Surprisingly though, Carrey turned out to be pretty good (and certainly much less irritating) when trying his hand in more dramatic roles, like The Truman Show (1998), Man on the Moon (1999) and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004).
  • "Alias Critter Jones." "Alias Smith and Jones." - The comedy/western series "Alias Smith and Jones" (1971-3) told the misadventures of outlaws Hannibal Hayes (Pete Duel; later Roger Davis after Duel commited suicide) and Jed "Kid" Curry (Ben Murphy). The fellas, despite their outlaw ways, are popular with the public, so, rather than lock them up, the powers that be secretly offer them amnesty... on the condition that they stay out of trouble for a year. To help them stay on the up and up, the duo take on the aliases of Joshua Smith and Thaddeus Jones. Not surprisingly, wackiness ensues.
  • "...I've got to find a hole to crawl into..." "Talk to Courtney Love." - Courtney Love (1964- ; born Courtney Michelle Harrison) is best known as the widow of late grunge music and Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain. She also had a music career of her own, fronting the band Hole (hence her mention). They formed in 1989, had a modicum of success (especially with their 1994 commercial breakthrough album Live Through This) and disbanded in 2002.
  • "Aren't you the great one!" "Gretzky?" - Often called the Great One, Wayne Gretzky (1961- ) is one of the most famous hockey players of all time. He began playing the game at the age of six, when he joined the Brantford (Ontario) Novice All-Star team. Eventually turning pro in 1978, he joined the Edmonton Oilers, using jersey number 99, the number he would retain throughout his career. In 1988, he joined the Los Angeles Kings and, until his retirement in 1999, also played for the St. Louis Blues and the New York Rangers. During his time, he set 61 National Hockey League scoring records and played in 18 All-Star games. Married to actress Janet Jones, he has a cameo as himself in the 1994 film D2: The Might Ducks.
  • "If I could save time in a bottle..." - The mellow ballad "Time in a Bottle" was a hit single for Jim Croche (who also penned the song), appearing on his 1972 album You Don't Mess Around with Jim.
  • "One of Morrissey's more upbeat songs." - One time lead singer for The Smiths, Morrissey (1959- ; born Steven Patrick Morrissey) is well known for his almost deterimined miserableness. His songs are almost exclusively unhappy and rife with self-loathing and angst. I mean, just look at a couple of album titles: 1988's Viva Hate (featuring the singles "Suedehead" and "Everyday is Like Sunday") and 1997's Maladjusted (which produced the single "The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get"). Not a happy camper.
  • "Mogan David and man, oh, Manischewitz..." - Critter mentions wine in his song, so Tom sings about a couple of cheap (less than $10 a bottle) wines, both, incidentally, Jewish and 100% Kosher: Mogan David (also a name for the Star of David) and Manischewitz. Manischewitz, in particular, is a very sweet dessert wine and some of its ads featured people enthusing, "Man, oh, Manischewitz!"
  • "Ooo, ooo, bitter dregs..." - From the "Star Trek" (1966-9) 1968 episode "Plato's Stepchildren." The crew of the starship Enterprise discovers a planet inhabited only by a small group of people who have based their society on Ancient Greek society. The inhabitants have also developed powerful psychokinetic powers and use the ship's crew as playthings, like puppets. At one point, they force the normally emotionless Vulcan science officer Spock (Leonard Nimoy) to seranade his fellow officers with a song called "Maiden Wine," which features the line, "Ooo ooo, bitter dregs." Later, Nimoy performed the song for his album The Touch of Leonard Nimoy (197?).

Host segment 4 - "I Am Sad"

  • Nothing to explain here. But, hey, who's for nachos?

Movie Act 4

  • "So, gonna get in a caper with Grover Cleveland." - The slimy guy does bear a surprising resemblance to Grover Cleveland (1837-1908), 22nd and 24th President of the United States (1885-9 and 1893-7).
  • "My needs are quite simple..." "Easy Cheese and 'Cannon' reruns."
    • Easy Cheese is the original cheese in a spray can, developed by Nabisco. Unlike a lot of later spray cheeses, Easy used all real cheese. There's a generic knock-off that goes by the monicker of EZ Cheese (actual cheese content doubtful).
    • "Cannon" (1971-6) featured the adventures of Cannon (William Conrad), an overweight, balding ex-cop who becomes a private detective.
  • "...their number one trustee." "Ahead of Otis?!" - Otis Campbell (portrayed by Hal Smith) was the Mayberry town drunk on "The Andy Griffith Show" (1960-8). Sheriff Andy Taylor (Andy Griffith) often had to throw Otis in the local jail's one cell so he could sleep it off; this was all treated with amusment (this was during a time when alcoholism was considering funny, apparently) and they never even bothered locking the cell door.
  • "Henry Blatts..." "I brewed a pretty crummy beer, I admit it." - Blatz billed itself as Milwaukee's Finest Beer (it seems the guys disagree). The brewery was founded by Valentine Blatz in 1851, and, although they became the first Milwaukee brewer to go national, they still closed in 1959 and were bought up by Pabst.
  • "This guy's no Joseph Coors." - Following from the previous beer-related reference, Joseph Coors (1917-2003) was the grandson of Adolph Coors, the man who founded the Coors beer brewing company in 1873. Joseph helped build Coors into the U.S.'s third-largest brewery. He was also quite conservative, using his huge fortune to help finance the political careers of folks like Ronald Reagan.
  • "We had another Bloody Christmas episode in the holding cell; clean it up, would ya?" - Thanks (again) to Helper John Keat for pointing this one out; I'd missed it completely. In a 1951 scandal referred to as "Bloody Christmas," seven young Mexican-Americans were brutally beaten, on Christmas Day, by Los Angeles police officers while in custody. Eight officers were indicted and 36 others were disciplined. A re-creation of these beatings is a major scene in the 1997 film L.A. Confidential, based on James Ellroy's 1990 novel of the same name.
  • "Just about time for my Jerry Orbach lessons." - There's a certain resemblance between the guard and accomplished actor Jerry Orbach (1935-2004). Orbach was a star of both stage and screen, originating several classic roles in such mid-1970s stage musicals as Chicago, 42nd Street and The Fantasticks. Movies include F/X (1986), Dirty Dancing (1987) and Disney's Beauty and the Beast (1991), as the voice of Lumiere the candlestick (a part he continued to voice for future appearances of the character). He probably became best know for his 12 year stint as police detective Lennie Briscoe on the award-winning drama "Law & Order" (1990- ).
  • "Tonight on 'Oz.'" - The critically-acclaimed drama "Oz" (1997-2003) followed the lives of the staff and inmates of "the Emerald City," an experimental cell block in the Oswald Maximum Security Correctional Facility, nicknamed "Oz."
  • "Don't worry." "I'm Pat McCormick." - Another resemblance for this guy, this time to comedy writer/actor Pat McCormick (1934- ). McCormick wrote material for such acclaimed comedians as Jonathan Winters, Merv Griffin, Johnny Carson and Don Rickles (and was Don Rickles' second banana on Rickles' 1968-9 variety series). He was also a writer for shows like "The Danny Kaye Show" (1963-7) and "Get Smart" (1965-70). McCormick never really made it as a stand-up performer, but did carve a niche for himself as a comic character actor, appearing in small roles in many films, including History of the World Part I (1981) and all three Smokey and the Bandit movies (1977, 1980, 1983).
  • "...I was just as young and as fresh--" "--as Marianne Faithfull!" - Singer Marianne Faithfull's (1946- ) first hit single came in 1964 with "As Tears Go By." Her popularity rose during the rest of the 1960s (partly due to her relationship with Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger), and she continued to record with her high, fragile voice. During the 1970s, Faithfull broke up with Jagger and developed a drug habit, seemingly ending her music career. However, she made a comeback in with the 1979 album Broken English, which featured Faithfull's new croaking voice, a good octave lower than previously heard, as well as much darker, edgier songs.
  • "And see this hand? It was as steady as a rock!" "Then I saved Private Ryan." - Steven Spielberg's 1998 film Saving Private Ryan, based on a true story, followed an eight-man World War II unit, led by Capt. John Miller (Tom Hanks), on a harrowing, nerve-wracking mission to find a single soldier, Private James Ryan (Matt Damon), and make sure he gets home safely.
  • "Laurel and Hardy as strippers." - The classic comedy duo of Stan Laurel (1890-1965; born Arthur Stanley Jefferson) and Oliver Hardy (1892-1957) made their first short film together, Forty-Five Minutes from Hollywood, in 1926, and continued making films as a team for the next 20 years. They usually played a pair of bumblers, having a difficult time performing the simplest of tasks together.
  • "I'm sure you know what's wrong with her, Leo." "You used to be on staff at the Mayo Clinic." - In the early 1900s, in the town of Rochester, Minnesota, Dr. William Mayo had a frontier medical practice, one inherited by his sons, William and Charles. The brothers found the demands to be too much, so they invited more and more doctors to join them, thus pioneering the private group practice of medicine. Today, the Mayo Clinic has more than 2000 doctors and scientists at its three major locations (the others being in Florida and Arizona). The Clinic mostly concentrates on research now, and is considered a top resource of medical information.
  • "Nobody's calling a doctor." "I'm a Christian Scientist!" - Based in Boston, the First Church of Christ, Scientist was founded in 1879 by Mary Baker Eddy, author of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures (1875). One of the Church's main tenets involves the belief that God heals, which, granted, is not terribly uncommon in religions. However, Christian Scientist believe that only God should heal, and have a ban on seeking real medical care. If God doesn't decide to intervene in your illness, tough cookies. So, really, nothing to do with science when you get down to it.
  • "You may be the luckiest girl in Hollywood." "No, that would be Lea Thompson." - Actress Lea Thompson (1961- ) has had some pretty fortunate times in her career. When a career in ballet didn't work out, Thompson turned to acting and being sought after for commercials due to her image as a "girl-next-door" (which, really, she was). Her first motion picture appearance was a bit part in Jaws 3-D (1983). After appearing in a few more less-than-sterling movies, like 1984's Red Dawn, she hit it big with the first Back to the Future film (1985). Unfortunately, her next big film with the critical and financial disaster Howard the Duck (1986). She managed to keep working steadily after that until, almost overnight, she mysteriously became America's sweetheart when she scored the extremely average sit-com "Caroline in the City" (1995-9). Since "Caroline" wrapped up, she still gets steady work on screen and on stage.
  • "And if you don't take her place, somebody else will!" "Like Charles Durning." - One of film's great character actors, Charles Durning (1923- ) has made too many motion picture appearance to give a proper list. Here's a short one: The Sting (1973), The Hindenburg (1975), The Muppet Movie (1979) (as the villainous Doc Hopper), The Final Countdown (1980), The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982), The Man With One Red Shoe (1985), The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) and the brilliant O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000). He's an older man and a little heavy in his later days and you probably wouldn't want to see him dancing in the gold bikini. Mind you, I'm sure his dancing skills are better than Michelle's.
  • "...a car..." "Plymouth Sundance!" - The Plymouth line of automobiles is currently owned by Chrysler, who discontinued the line in 2001. They did make a vehicle called the Sundance.
  • "Boss, I'm runnin' to Staples... need anything?" - First opened in 1986, Staples is a big ole chain of big ole office supply stores. There are almost 1400 of them across North America.
  • "Ooooh, that hurt!" - Mike's speaking in the same goofy voice as the character of Art Fern, created and portrayed in sketches by Johnny Carson during his years on "The Tonight Show" (1962-92). Art was the host of "The Tea Time Movie" and his bit involved telling us all about that week's movie (always something that sounded horrible, like Dracula Gets Bombed on a Wino). I don't believe that Mike is doing for any real reason here; just bein' goofy.
  • "Splash." - During fight scenes on the camp super-hero TV series "Batman," (1966-8) overlays appeared on screen representing typical comic book sound effects. Everything from BAM! to KAPOW! My favourite was YEEOUCH! I supposed SPLASH! may have even been in there somewhere, but certainly not in the ultra-greasy henchman context Tom's using it here.
  • "Nnnnah, see! Shtop it! My shishter!" - More funny faces inspire Mike, this time to do his best Edward G. Robinson. Actor Robinson did slur a lot of his "s" sounds into "sh" and almost always tough roles, usually gansters of some type. I don't know if the sister mention refers to a specific role of Robinson's.
  • "She's dancing the specials to T.G.I. Friday's." "Well, I hope she tells us, in dance, about the Jack Daniels Grill." - In her red and white striped jacket, Michelle could pass for a server at one of the 730+ eateries in the T.G.I. Friday's restaurant chain. The first Friday's was opened in 1965 by a guy who was basically trying to meet chicks. I kid you not; according to the chain's website: "An unmarried New York City perfume salesman named Alan Stillman decided that the coolest way to meet the stewardesses in his neighborhood would be to buy a broken down beer joint, jazz it up with Tiffany lamps and mod young waiters and christen it - with an eye toward attracting the career crowd - the T.G.I.F. (Thank Goodness It's Friday). Within one week the police had to ring Friday's (as it quickly became known) with barricades to handle the nightly hordes of young singles." In 1997, the chain introduced the Jack Daniel's Grill, a selection of food prepared with sauces and marinades using Jack Daniel's whiskey. Yeah, let's all go out and get hammered on steak!

Epilogue - Observer shakes his money-maker

  • "Not even fit for a guest spot on 'Beakman's World.'" - "Beakman's World" (1993-8) was a popular children's science program. The wild and wacky Beakman (Paul Zaloom) and his assistants, including Lester the Rat (Mark Ritts) would teach his young viewers about scientific principles using fun experiments, "interviews" with famous dead scientists and animated shorts.

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